singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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