This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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