The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
