yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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