Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
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I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
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I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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