i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
