can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
