no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
