you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
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if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.