and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
