I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
