Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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