So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just high enough for therapy.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
