Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
