Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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