so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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