Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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