One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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