I must be too annoying 4 u.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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