Do you still have your period?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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