Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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