Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
