moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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