His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.