Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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