R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My pussy is not your playground.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.