this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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