The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
This show inspires me to have sex in space
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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