The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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