Can i not drive my cunt home
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
