ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
