what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
