the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
