i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
