Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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