this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
