My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
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Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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