oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
