All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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