Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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