it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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