break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
