sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
