Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
