Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
