Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
