I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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