And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
