There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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