belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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