After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
is wine microwaveable?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
