haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
