my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
