No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize