I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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