did you get engaged???
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
