I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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