I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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