im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
